Today Mateo pinched his finger while playing with the pots and pans. He started to cry so I went to console him and kissed his finger. He stopped crying, we put away the offending pots and I picked him up. As I lifted him into my arms he held his finger up for me to kiss, looking into my eyes as if to say, "Make it better, Mommy." So I did. I was amazed at how much another kiss soothed him and seemed to satisfy his need. If only his hurts and troubles could always be fixed so easily.
He attempted to sing "Happy Birthday" with me this evening. When I tickle him and say "Tickle, tickle," he says, "Ticka ticka." Every day now he imitates me talking on the phone. He is the most amazing person I have ever known.
The changes and developments are visible daily now, piling on one after another. He fills my arms to capacity, my big boy, my heart long ago overflowed so that I'm perpetually drowning in love for him.
Holding him close tonight. Our blessings know no end; my sorrow for parents grieving the loss of their own babies is more than I can say. I let the tears flow, inhale Mateo's sweet, innocent scent, and thank God for another day with my son. It is clear to me now more than ever that he is on loan to me...that all parents are mere shadowy, earthly guardians for these souls from heaven. May our spirits know peace in this troubling time.
