Mateo will be 6 months old this Saturday. I can't believe it's been that long since I pushed him out into the world, but all evidence points to the fact that his babyhood is quickly slipping through my fingers (and now I'm crying, thanks, self. Ugh.). He's been sitting on his own for about 3 weeks now, since around 5 months, and is visibly anxious to turn into one of the "big" (little) boys we see running around the parks and fountains. He watches them with such intense interest and grins anytime anyone looks his way. He gets frustrated when I'm changing his diaper or when he falls back on the floor from sitting up because he wants to be able to sit BACK up, and doesn't understand why all the crunches in the world aren't making that happen (your spine and abs aren't that developed, little dude). He fills my days with babbling and happy screaming and my nights with the sweetest snuggles in the world.
Despite the months of teething we've already endured, he still has nothing to show for it, but that's perfectly ok with me, just frustrating on those nights they're causing him pain. He is so interested in everything we eat/drink, and reaches for EVERYTHING so for the past few weeks I've been giving him food here and there. He's tried avocado, sweet potato, carrot, broccoli, green beans, green smoothie, banana, apple. Everything is met with an awful face, but the faces are slowly becoming less tortured. He does get excited whenever he sees me eating a banana so I hold it for him and let him gum it until he "bites" off a piece. I did put him in his highchair and give him his own big hunk of banana the other day but it pretty much just ended up on the floor, over and over again. I'm trying to skip purees and just do soft solids, following his lead. Food at this age is really about exploring texture and coordination, learning to chew, rather than nutrition. It gets messy this way, but it's fascinating to watch him learn that he needs to chew up this big hunk of "nana" in his mouth.
Yesterday (St. Patrick's Day) Justin's wonderful sister gave birth to Eli, Mateo's newest and closest (in age) cousin. I am so happy for them/jealous that they still have a newborn/anxious to meet him. My emotions have been all over the place today as I see pictures of Eli meeting his family for the first time and I wish SO MUCH to be there, to be sharing those moments, for Mateo to know what it's like to grow up with cousins and grandparents he sees every week, not every 3-6 months. I think about how he'd only met a few family members by the time he was 3 months old and I get sad for him that we don't have those pictures and memories of him being cherished and welcomed into the world by all the people that love him. I don't like to think of myself too much as a "military wife" because the truth is that my life is vastly different from that of most military wives. My husband comes home every day, I never have to worry about him being deployed for months, if not years. There are very few military in our area and we don't live in any sort of base housing - I've only met a couple other spouses from Justin's station. But sometimes the reality does sort of smack you in the face - like no matter how much we want to be close to family it is simply not possible, and not at all up to us.
The upside, because there always is one, is that we basically live in paradise. It's taken me awhile to warm to this town, and there's a lot I don't love about it and the people here. But there's no excuse for not fully embracing and loving our entire time here - especially as we just learned we'll be here for at least 3 more years, not the 18-24 months we were thinking. There are parks on every corner, filled with ficus trees, palm trees, Spanish moss, etc. There are fountains everywhere, the kind that come out of the ground and have a timed patten of strength - the kind children love to run through (I'm glad we'll be here long enough for Mateo to really enjoy these). There are farmer's markets with local or fairly local produce for prices I could never pay year round in Virginia. There are organic co-ops of entirely local produce, this vegetarian's dream. There's the beach, and the river for when the beach is too rough, and warmm clear water. There are blue skies practically every day, temperatures that drop to the mid 60's on a cold day in "winter." I've found a wonderful community of warm, loving, natural minded mothers who help keep me sane on those days Mateo is insisting we leave the house and see other people. There's West Palm Beach 45 minutes away for shopping, little bit of city, and Miami 2 hours away for even more city life. There are lizards and alligators and strange birds and manatees. There are playdates in the park and lazy Sunday afternoons at the beach and there is a lot, a lot of love.
It's not perfect, and it's maybe not where I'd be if I had a choice. I think a lot of life is about ceding control and embracing the hand you've been dealt. And the reality is that I've been dealt a pretty fantastic hand - a loving husband/best friend, a sweet, beautiful, healthy son who grins whenever he sees me, great supportive women I can laugh and cry with, and a beautiful place to call home.
Welcome to the world, Eli! Just because I'm not there doesn't mean I love you any less...I can't wait to meet you!
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