January 5, 2014

New Year, Clean Slate

Facebook status update today: 

2014 has begun with a bang with Justin receiving orders for March to his A school in Yorktown, Virginia. We never expected to live in Port St. Lucie for as long as we have; most A school waiting lists are not nearly three years long. The news is bittersweet - while Florida and I have an on again, off again relationship (currently on, thank you, winter) the past (almost) three years have been an intense period of growth and change for me and I will always have a special place in my heart for the Treasure Coast. My babies were born in this house...the friends I've made through La Leche League and the wonderful community of loving, supportive women I've found here have helped me survive the first years of motherhood, have loved me and my children, and have been my family when I am so far from my own. I am so thankful for God placing us here for this time in my life. I knew He was in control from the moment I sat on my parent's couch, twenty weeks pregnant, Googled "home birth certified nurse midwives in Florida," prayed for a miracle, and found the amazing Angela Love. While I'm crying as I write this, I'm also so excited to see where we'll be stationed next. The babies and I will be staying with family in VA while Justin is in school and then...who knows! Adventure awaits! 

More blogging, less FB - that's part of the adventure. More nature, less "stuff." More breathing, less yelling. More hugs and tickles, less hand holding and counting to ten. 

I am thankful for the rollercoaster the next six months will be, for the break from a routine or familiar surroundings, for the family we'll be with, for the yards we'll have to explore. I'm grateful that Mateo will have these experiences...

My biggest fear is seeing the light go out in his eyes. For him not to want to hug or kiss me one night. For his unbridled joy to become bridled. I am being driven crazy by the Twos, and yet I never want them to end. I hold him, I kiss him and I am full of fear and love. Sand through my fingers...

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